-“Doctor…I’m having fantasies…About other women…So shameful!”

Jennifer X. was a supposedly happily married middle-aged woman with a loving husband,  a pair of well-educated, affectionate children and no money worries. What was wrong? Filled with angst, she finally confided to me the secret cause of her emotional frustration.

Dr. Gerulf Rieger, lead researcher at the department of Psychology at the University of Essex, found that, even though the majority of women might identify as straight, they are bisexual or gay. His research team used eye-tracking devices to capture the pupil dilation (or lack thereof) in response to the sexual stimuli of showing videos of naked men and women to 345 participants.

Straight women were strongly sexually aroused to videos of both attractive men and women, in spite of affirming that they were only interested in men. This contrasted with the response of lesbian women who showed a stronger preference for other women, making them more “male-typical” in their acts. The public appearance of women might not coincide with their preferences.

Adriana Arias, a psychologist specializing in sex disorders, said that the gay fantasies should not considered as threatening for a woman’s well-being. “The imagination is the language of erotism. It connects us with our senses, these with our sensations and the latter with our emotions…Fantasies enrich us, stimulate our creativity, liberate us, decrease our tensions, allow us to play at ‘being someone else’ and are often an antidote to sexual routine.”

Long, long time ago (before I became a monk of Medicine), a girlfriend drastically interrupted our intimate exchange to caress my face and tell me point blank:

-“I’m so sorry darling…I can’t help thinking of another woman….”

-“Oh… Well, just close your eyes and carry on…Don’t mind me at all.”

-“I adore you,” she said, kissing me, “you’re so understanding—“

We resumed our lovemaking in earnest and reached an out-of-this-world climax.

What do you want me to say? You have to give these girls some space…

What do you think? Please tell us.

Don’t leave me alone.





7 thoughts on “The “forbidden” fantasies

  1. Being with one, thinking of another male or female.
    We’re looking for our significant others, sex (i.e. partners of opposite sex who should mutually attract) is just imposed by the society. Some of my straight girlfriends found their love in another woman (after dating men all their lives). They don’t declare themselves as gay. They’re just happy.

    1. Dear Uc: good morning ( or evening already in West Africa) and thank you very much for your unusually short and a tad sarcastic commentary. As far as my passive participation in that ” horrible situation” I’ d only like to say: Noblesse oblige! But did you like the blog or not? Does a censor impede you from commenting it?

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