-“Doctor…I’m always splendid for him, unlike his wife—always stinking of garlic.”

Marcela X. is a young, beautiful and intelligent woman that has been dating a married man for several months already, against the advice of her friends.Her family members do not have a clue about her adventurous amorous choice but the few girlfriends that do have been very critical of that affair. In spite of the criticisms, she is attracted to that man to the point of loving him.

Kristen Houghton said that “being part of any couple can be challenging and unpredictable. But when the man with whom you’re involved is part of another couple… then the challenge and unpredictability can make your life a messy, unhappy waiting game that you will rarely win.” She said that the affair will stay secret, he would never leave his wife and she has no claims.

Notwithstanding all that rational discourse, it happened to many women, even though they would never admit it publicly. They did notice that he had a wedding band but they were still interested…AHA….And when the right opportunity arose, they engaged in a loving relationship with “the already taken man” that they certainly enjoyed to the hilt.

Why would an emancipated, fair and clever woman date a married man?

  1. Because he has what she wants: a wife, a house, a job, a family.
  2. Because she loves the idea of supplanting another woman.
  3. Because she is convinced that he only made the wrong choice.
  4. Because he has already been vetted as a sex partner and good father.
  5. Because there is no better lover than the one resolving his frustrations.
  6. Because she can play the victim and has extreme leverage with him.
  7. Because he looks like a kid in a candy store… So happy, so grateful.

The best reason might be all too practical for some feminine stomachs to digest.

-“You know, Doctor, I listen to his droning on about his problems and then I dispatch him home. As I don’t have to find any solutions to any of them, I sleep like a baby…”

What do you think? Please tell us.

Don’t leave me alone.

6 thoughts on “Dating a married man

  1. What do you want me to say? I’m not going to start arguing with you about the emancipation of women. There is an old saying in Spanish that goes like this:
    “Macaco viejo no sube palo podrido.”
    Considering that you could translate my long discussion with Dr. Guedin, I will not bother to translate it. Un baccione. Ciao!

  2. Wrong.
    She also has a hub, a house, a job, a family.

    Besides, what makes you think she wants him to leave his wife? They are equally emancipated, fair and clever. So, they are either having fun or are a family of sorts.
    He understands her and is a better lover. Guess what? It’s mutual. Simple as that.

  3. Estimado Mario,
    Quizá hace unos años hubiera empezado este comentario diciendo “animarse a salir con un hombre casado implica…” sin embargo, es posible que en este momento de cambio subjetivo y relacional, quizá ya no sea así. Las mujeres no se “animan”: se “aventuran”, a sabiendas de los riesgos y de los beneficios que trae una relación de este estilo. Y sumo a esto algo más: ya no se pretende que el hombre deje a su pareja actual, por el contrario: la relación “extramatrimonial” comienza a tener sus códigos, sus reglas que la constituyen per se, defendiendo el espacio y los tiempos personales, la individualidad, y por supuesto, la libertad para que cada uno haga su vida.

    1. Querido Walter: buenas tardes y muchas gracias por tu comentario acertado basado en tu larga experiencia clinica con las parejas. Parece mentira que las relaciones “paralelas” se hayan en cierta medida “legitimizado” y tambien “estructurado.” Considerando que ya son muchas las mujeres que “no quieren lola” con una relacion formal, seguramente es una manera de tener un afecto sin los numerosos dolores de cabeza de la cohabitacion y el compromiso. De todas maneras, esas mujeres estan en cierta medida “alienadas” y sufriendo de sus frustraciones emocionales. Un gran abrazo!

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