-“Doctor, before serving a dish to a client, I’ve got to try it myself.”

Tanya X. is the feisty, lesbian sous-chef of a trendy restò in the BRSF that was half-jokingly telling me why, even though she had a steady partner, she masturbated on a regular basis. There are statistics about the high prevalence of that practice in both the young and adult populations of the USA but it still remains a “taboo subject” in the media and in the civic discourse. It’s like the mentally or physically handicapped child in the families of yore. Everybody knew about his existence but nobody noticed him.

That old practice has been frowned upon by religious and civic authorities as a vain exercise for the loafers who are only bent on their narcissistic enjoyment. In spite of that concerted opposition, it is coming out of the closet for all sexual preferences.

 Yvonne Fulbright, sexologist and relationship expert, says that “ how to stimulate one’s hot spots, whether your own or your lover’s, can be a piece of cake—that is once you know the recipe. The secret to becoming a rave-inspiring ‘masterchef’ in the bedroom is knowing when (and how) to throw in a dash of this or a pinch of that, turn up the heat, let things simmer a bit, or even mix up the ingredients. It’s also important to know why the right blend makes things so sweet.” There’s a link between cooking and good sex.

In my novel,  Emily, the heroine, and Juliet, her mentor, share this dialogue:

-“Oh…Cut the academic lesson short…What should I do?”

-“When was the last time that you connected with your clitoris?”

-“Never did.”

-“Put a mirror down there and start chatting with your best buddy—”

-“Only talk?”

-“How are you gonna guide your partner if you don’t learn the ropes first? By gently caressing it you’ll find out the right amount of pressure you like.”

-“I feel shame—“

-“Don’t kowtow to the patriarchal society’s guilt complexes…Fantasize!”

As to the widespread belief that Onanism damages your memory, there is a study by…Mmm…Hey, what was the name of that scientist again?

What do you think? Please tell us.

Don’t leave me alone.

16 thoughts on “The company of one

  1. Many women (as well as men) don’t fantasize in the first place so how can they expect good sex. Besides, they neither understand their own bodies and needs nor do they read their partners’.

    There’s a whole science behind the female orgasm.
    Lesson No 1: get to know your genitals.

    1. Good morning and thanks for your great, honest and pointed commentary. In my novel ( by the way did you care to read it?) I put up a scene where a female spirit recommends precisely that to the central female character. Juliet tells Emily to start “learning her body” at the shower. What do you think dear?

      1. There’s another issue related to female orgasm that I dangerously failed to mention in my previous commentaries (but that I am discussing in my new book) Some ladies are so emotionally charged that right before they are about to feel a pleasurable conclusion to an agitated sexual activity they literally become “breathless” for 1 or 2 seconds. They are suspended in a limbo between life and death, scaring even a physician like moi. Long, long time ago ( before I became a monk of Medicine) I had that totally scary experience with a gorgeous lady in a Montevideo motel. She closed her eyes and straightened her back while riding on top of me; she was motionless and speechless for 2 long-long-long seconds. Finally she came back to life after being suspended in that limbo; perhaps that’s what the French refer to as “la petite mort.”

      2. That’s incredible.

        There’s one more interesting thing about female orgasm. Oftentimes women get very emotional during and after it, which doesn’t mean we’re emotionally screwed up or desperately in love.

        There’s lots of things happening in your mind and body during and after sex so experiencing a big emotional release like this is perfectly normal. A flood of happy/sad emotions post-sex.
        Do you agree, dottore? Do you have anything to add or you mentioned (forgot to mention) it in your book?

      3. You mentioned another aspect of utter importance: the emotional aftermath in a loving relationship. I am writing about that too.

      4. But it got worse dear. Once she came back to life, she screamed at the top of her lungs for 4-5 seconds, shaking all the foundations of the building. When we finally got out of the room, the young cleaning lady looked at me tenderly and smiled broadly. Did that constitute a hidden feminine message? What do you think dear?

  2. Me acuerdo, cuando era un niño y casi adolescente ya, que en mi casa primaba la idea – hecha palabra en consejos y alertas de los adultos cercanos – que la masturbación ” podía ocasionar problemas mentales e incluso pulmonares”. Tal era el temor a una práctica, existente desde tiempos inmemoriales y sobre la que poco se conocía y mucho se temía. Hoy, el auto conocimiento de nuestro cuerpo y de nuestras sensaciones, conlleva factores beneficiosos para nuestras relaciones de pareja y para nosotros mismos. La auto complacencia, tan vilipendiada fundamentalmente por la Iglesia hoy ha pasado a ser una norma aceptada – en su justa y real dimensión -. Se ha afirmado, incluso, desde algún ámbito científico – mi estimado amigo nos podrá ilustrar al respecto ya que soy un neófito en el tema – que la masturbación junto con el mantenimiento de relaciones sexuales periódicas podrían ser un factor que coadyuvara en evitar el cáncer de próstata.

    1. Querido Carlitos: hoy si que te destapaste en tu “opinismo” en mis blogs. Exactamente, segun algunos urologo(a)s todo lo que drene los conductos seminales, evita el estancamiebto del semen y la oxidacion de compuestos que pueden desatar la temible cascada cancerigena. Asi que acordate: hay que apurarse por que se acaba el mundo che!!!

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.