-“Doctor…My husband is so jealous—he watches all my movements.”
Viviana X. is an attractive, young married lady with a newborn that, in spite of being in love with her husband, resents his controlling stance towards her.Being a Momma’s boy, he has a sickly ambivalent love-hate relationship with women, trying to dominate all aspects, small and big, of her behavior. Any sign of potential autonomy is considered suspicious right from the start.
Jealousy is not necessarily pathologic as it is part of our emotional trove. It is only considered abnormal when it takes over the individuals and interferes with their normal relationship with others. It can be divided into these forms:
- Normal emotional reaction: transient; does not alter the relationships.
- Outsized emotional reaction: more common in women with varying degrees of dependency; they are control-freaks, always suspicious.
- Personality feature; they are suspicious to the extreme, which affects all the family and labor relationships; they are paranoid about threats.
- Othello’s syndrome: a delirious alteration with a fixed idea conditioning all actions; it can be part of a dementia syndrome or alcohol abuse.
The persistent search for clues about a possible infidelity consumes the daily actions of a jealous individual. The jealous person sees signs of infidelity in any normal action; she talks by phone with a male friend, i.e. they are lovers.By contrast, the delirious individual converts any external occurrence into a sign of infidelity; she goes for a Gyn. check-up, i.e. she must be pregnant.
Many couples live that ambivalent love-hate relationship that creates a mutual dependency, as if they were two necessary parts of the same puzzle. In my novel, Roberto, a physical and psychological abuser of Carmela, his devout wife, suffers from chronic alcoholism and erectile dysfunction. His wife does not dare to leave him or denounce him.In spite of their grief, they consider the other one as a necessary complement.
When the jealousy becomes pathological, it is time to consult a professional.
What do you think? Please tell us.
Don’t leave me alone.