-“Doctor…My husband is so jealous—he watches all my movements.”

Viviana X. is an attractive, young married lady with a newborn that, in spite of being in love with her husband, resents his controlling stance towards her.Being a Momma’s boy, he has a sickly ambivalent love-hate relationship with women, trying to dominate all aspects, small and big, of her behavior. Any sign of potential autonomy is considered suspicious right from the start.

Jealousy is not necessarily pathologic as it is part of our emotional trove. It is only considered abnormal when it takes over the individuals and interferes with their normal relationship with others. It can be divided into these forms:

  1. Normal emotional reaction: transient; does not alter the relationships.
  2. Outsized emotional reaction: more common in women with varying degrees of dependency; they are control-freaks, always suspicious.
  3. Personality feature; they are suspicious to the extreme, which affects all the family and labor relationships; they are paranoid about threats.
  4. Othello’s syndrome: a delirious alteration with a fixed idea conditioning all actions; it can be part of a dementia syndrome or alcohol abuse.

The persistent search for clues about a possible infidelity consumes the daily actions of a jealous individual. The jealous person sees signs of infidelity in any normal action; she talks by phone with a male friend, i.e. they are lovers.By contrast, the delirious individual converts any external occurrence into a sign of infidelity; she goes for a Gyn. check-up, i.e. she must be pregnant.

Many couples live that ambivalent love-hate relationship that creates a mutual dependency, as if they were two necessary parts of the same puzzle. In my novel, Roberto, a physical and psychological abuser of Carmela, his devout wife, suffers from chronic alcoholism and erectile dysfunction. His wife does not dare to leave him or denounce him.In spite of their grief, they consider the other one as a necessary complement.

When the jealousy becomes pathological, it is time to consult a professional.

What do you think? Please tell us.

Don’t leave me alone.

6 thoughts on “The jealous partner

    1. Good morning and thanks for this nice commentary. Please remember that most of the writings of these series are based on informal conversations with my patients, not formal medical consultations. Physicians, like priests and hairdressers, tend to hear a lot of “confessions” form their female clients, whether we like it or not. We are the passive recipients of some of their most grievous concerns, sometimes at the detriment of families and friends (especially girlfriends)
      Un baccione. Arrivederci!

  1. Estimado Mario, excelente artículo sobre esta emoción que tiene raíces biológicas (en los animales se denomina período de celo a la fertilidad de la hembra, lo cual lleva a que un macho se convierta en dominante) pero en los humanos es vulnerable factores psicológicos, sociales y culturales que modifican su expresión. los celos patológicos son muy frecuentes en la práctica clínica, ya sea como un síntoma neurótico o bien formando parte de un delirio psicótico (celotipia). Por supuesto que en las neurosis existe conciencia del síntoma y de las consecuencias que acarrea, pero el sujeto, o bien lo justifica, o sufre porque no lo puede controlar. Las victimas de los celos se debaten en la ambivalencia amor/odio hacia la pareja, sufren la humillación y otras formas de violencia; se deprimen y sienten que su estima está destruida. Los celos, como vos decís en el artículo, forman parte de nuestras emociones basales. Cuando se vuelven patológicos coartan la libertad, la autonomía, el disfrute. Tanto el sujeto que cela, como el que es objeto de los celos, están inmersos en preocupaciones que ocupan el pensamiento y convocan emociones displacenteras.

    1. Querido Walter: buenos dias y Feliz Domingo. que mas se puede agregar a lo que escribiste que ya no es un comentario sino una clase magistral del tema dictada por un profesional con mucha experiencia en el tema por que practica en una de las urbes del planeta con mas densidad de pacientes en tratamiento psiquiatrico y psicoterapia. Muchas gracias por leer y comentar mi blog. Te mando un gran abrazo!

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