-“Doctor…Another Valentine’s day has passed by—and I’m still single.”

Veronica X. is an attractive young pharmaceutical representative that was sharing her frustration at not having found “the right one” in my office. Even in our “liberated” age where women pride themselves in being able to live and develop their full potential without the company and help of men, most women crave for the exhilarating experience of sharing their lives with one.

After watching women of all ages in that romanticized waiting period, I have identified six major feminine attitudes to manage their stress and anxiety:

  1. The hopeless romantic
  2. The busy scavenger
  3. The event-hopper
  4. The perpetual denier
  5. The married reader
  6. The detached activist

The hopeless romantic. In our times of gender equality and social disregard for the elemental tenets of etiquette and courtship, this lady is expecting a man to conform to the parameters of “the ideal” they carry in their minds. Obsessed with the pursuit of that model, she ignores the more pedestrian but still worthy individuals that are roaming around her, sending her signals.

The busy scavenger. The tremendous expansion of the social media has provided individuals with the possibility of non-stop hunting of potential mates. This lady joins a few selective dating services and checks the suitors. She checks all the updated profiles in Tinder and Facebook for her targets. The connected huntress usually has too many possibilities and little results.

The event-hopper. An attractive lady usually gets invitations to many social events, private parties, inaugurations, expositions, etc., for which she can spend the whole week-end checking the scenery and having a good time. After so much exposure, a good prospect might appear in her field of vision. But once she finds him she is faced with a conundrum: slow down to try to make the relationship work or continue her dizzyingly entertaining quest.

The perpetual denier. As the social attention focus on a romantic event like Saint Valentine’s day, some women turn their attention elsewhere as they are supposedly not interested in those frivolous, consumerist dates. They openly profess not to be interested in finding a romantic partner and prefer the company of girlfriends or interesting people for a conversation. When nobody is around, she peeks at her horoscope to check her chances.

The married reader. Who says that if you’re married you shouldn’t check around? There are countless women that find themselves hopelessly trapped in a loveless marriage and find an escapist solace in reading romantic novels. This lady has a great knowledge of all the romantic heroines in all kinds of written material, including the celebrity-studded magazines. As her husband snores away, she reads in bed, craving for the company of someone else.

The detached activist. As we are experiencing the fourth (or is it the sixth?) wave of Feminism, there are some “archaic” attitudes that don’t disappear. This lady has an aggressive attitude against all the vestiges of the patriarchal society, including the supposedly degradingly démodé habitude of courtship. Listening to their inflamed rhetoric, you can’t fail to have the impression that if a man she likes dares to offer her a bunch of flowers she would melt.

Before leaving my office, Veronica X. maliciously turned the tables on me.

-“Doctor, with your knowledge of women, how come you’re still alone?”

What do you want me to say? Precisely. The more you know about them…

What do you think? Please tell us.

Don’t leave me alone.


18 thoughts on “Waiting for Prince Charming

  1. I am hopelessly unromantic. Hm, maybe, an event-hopper. I liked attending social events and having fun but had never (high) expectations. I visited those values for my own sake. So, spontaneity first, openness, mingling, sharing thoughts and ideas, which consequently almost as a rule meant meeting someone new, someone I’d find appealing.
    How about you, dottore? Or men fall into different categories?

    1. First of all. wouldn’t it be really, really nice to read first a “good morning” or a “good evening” once in a while from you dear? You seem to be suffering what most citizens in supposedly “modern” nations have: the canary syndrome. They have forgotten basic rules of civic engagement and talk to people as if they were talking to a little bird in a cage, beholden to their whims and impulses. I coined that term when a lady insolently approached me while I was perusing the cuts of salami in a deli display and started talking to moi without even a simple “hello.” I hope that you won’t have the same kind of brutish outburst she did… Well, to the commentary now. Thank you very much for taking the time and effort to re-write it dear. Are you telling me what you used to do when you were single? Well, it all sounds very reasonable. But when you truly fall in love, reason is usually out of the equation. “La follia d’amore” consists of falling head to toe for a marvelous person that makes you feel uniquely special and truly loved. Allora? Siete d’acccordo cara?

      1. Oui, je suis d’accord seulement avec la deuxième partie parce que dans le premier vous me critiquez à nouveau.

        Oh yes, I ‘almost’ forgot. Buongiorno e sono terribilmente dispiaciuto per essere stato così scortese. Terribilmente.

        How often to you hear from me? Shouldn’t I sound like a canary repeating these terribly polite phrases continually. You’re being judgemental, again, and I don’t think I deserve it. Now, HAVE A TERRIFIC DAY AND SEE YOU AROUND. Or…..forse no.
        (don’t you dare to say ‘ah women’ again)

      2. Not only I read it very, very carefully but I put, not one. but two thoughtful commentaries dear. You might not like them though. Fine. The most important thing we must share is our mutual, unbending honesty in all major issues.

      3. One thing is should know about me dottore is that I’m non-judgemental. You have your opinion, I have mine. We may not always see eye to eye on everything but as song as we have a fruitful discussion, it’s alright with me.

      4. You like my intellect and wit, yet you think I’m not always polite. Yes, it’s me. Very unconventional. Maybe you should stick to the conventional ones. I bet they are very well-behaved, just how you like them.

  2. insightful commentary on the subject. The internet has made it easier to connect, and yet having a real connection with someone is still hard to find. By that same token, having greater options also creates confusion and makes us less likely to settle down. I find that I can identify with having all 6 of the attitudes your explained. Thank you for this interesting analysis.

    1. My dear daughter:good afternoon and thank you very much for the nice commentary. Your opinion as a young emancipated lady is a good validation of my empirical research and writing endeavour. I hit the mark didn’t I? Although as a Dad I’m a little bit concerned that you used all six techniques at some time or the other…Wow! We have much to learn from our kids. Un grosso baccione per te cara figlia mia.

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