We can certainly agree that good and frequent sex is a healthy human habit. However when people are asked if having a lot of sex is important for the couple’s sense of well being they will say that it is not the determining factor to consider. A recent study explains the disconnect between these attitudes.

Dr. Lindsey Hicks, a psychological researcher at Florida State University, found that the frequency of sex is not directly related with people’s reporting of their satisfaction in their steady relationships but it does influence their more spontaneous and automatic responses when they are asked about it. As those automatic responses don’t require a conscious vetting, Hicks et al. believed that they might uncover some implicit perceptions and associations.

Initially they studied 216 newlywed-couples with a comprehensive survey that measured the satisfaction in their relationships. The participants rated different qualities of the marriages, their agreement or lack of it with certain statements and their satisfaction with their partners in a marriage setting. After completing the survey, they were tasked with a computer classification of responses to certain words after their partners’ pictures appeared briefly. The response time indicates how firmly two items are linked automatically; the faster the response time, the stronger the association between the two, If, after seeing the picture of their partner, the person responded more slowly to negative words than positive ones, it signified positive implicit attitudes.

Dr. Hicks did not find any direct association between the participants’ frequency of sex and their satisfaction levels, as happened in other studies. But the sexual frequency was directly related to their automatic responses; the more sex they had, the more positive attitudes towards the partners were.

This finding happened in both men and women. Another longitudinal study (extended in time) that studied 112 newlyweds confirmed that sex frequency was related with the participants’ automatic responses to the visual stimuli.

Some people are so profoundly unhappy that they can’t even admit it to themselves.

What do you think? Please tell us.

Don’t leave me alone.

9 thoughts on “The need for sex

  1. Firstly thanks a lot for sharing very good info on need for sex in our life. As per my personal experience of more about 39 years of married life and with 66+ years of age, I had sex with a single partner till now i.e. with my wife only. Although the frequency of sex has reduced yet sex is not eliminated from our lives altogether. Up to the age of about 60 years, we used to have sex almost daily. But for us, the sex is not just satisfying sex urge only but also the expression of love and affection between the acts. Overall, it is so good – so much so that I did not even think of having sex outside the marriage as a sacred institution. All this has really factored in my life’s activities including my meditation or prayer or following a spiritually oriented lifestyle.

    1. Wow. What a great commentary Harbans. You’re absolutely right. A satisfying sex life is indeed a great co-adjuvant for a fulfilling spiritual life. Congrats on the longevity and stability of your marriage. You must be doing something ( or many things) right with your wife.

      1. Yes sir, after my retirement from service, I joined another service just to keep myself busy and remain productive. Now it seemed as though I’ve not retired from my service at all! I also am practicing Homeopathy as a social service which gives me immense satisfaction. My wife is a house wife who keeps me and my family values in tact. We also follow spiritual oreiented life. Regards

  2. Gosh, where do I begin??? Your post does not mention the 50-60 age range. Let me say a word about sex, from my perspective. Satisfaction levels are great when it is spontaneous and not planned and certainly not something that requires hours of foreplay for there to be a main attraction!!!

    1. My dear Oily guru-witch doctor: good afternoon and thanks for the commentary. Where does it say that it’s only for the very young? No way!Moreover it takes some experience to learn “the tricks” that make it so much more enjoyable. Sadly after poring over very ancient Indian and Chinese textbooks about techniques of lovemaking in the library I heard the calling to become a monk. What a waste of my promising talent!

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