–“Where are all the men?” Emily asked. “Where are they hiding?”
-“Men? What men?” Annie retorted.
-“Nice single guys that like the company of women—that’s who.”
Emily grabbed her I-phone to scroll through her latest social feeds.
She shoved the apparatus into Annie’s face, practically fogging the screen.
-“Tell me the truth—is she really prettier than me, eh?”
-“Gosh… Still following him?”
-“Don’t want him to think that he still matters so—“
-“But he does… Gimme that!” said Annie, grabbing Emily’s phone.
Annie clicked “unfollow’ and then “unfriend” in Emily’s Facebook page.
-“There you are…End of story.” Annie said, handing her the phone back.
-“Can still follow him in Twitter—“
-“Whatever—what you’re looking for does not fit in a tart tweet.”
In my novel, Emily, the main character, shares with her deep frustration with Annie, her cousin and confidante: she cannot find a good man to commit. It’s a very common complaint of modern women who, in spite of having earned a well-deserved economic emancipation and social recognition, are unable to translate that personal success in their amorous relationships. They had exhilarating romances, with plentiful sex included, with gorgeous men; but when they tried to upgrade their relationship, men invariably skedaddled.
There is another perspective on this issue. An article in the New York Times describes the rebellion of some men working in Silicon Valley’s high-tech industries against what they consider blatant discrimination and harassment.
Paradoxically enough it is not a movement of old-timers bent on conserving the socio-economic status quo that relegated women to labor positions of lesser recognition and pay for generations. They are mostly young men. They are congregating in chat rooms, message boards, Facebook pages, to complain about the excesses of the “politically correct” attitudes of the Human Resources departments in the still male-dominated tech industry. They are afraid to openly challenge them but their subterranean rebellion is gaining traction, forcing the administrators and investors to pay attention.
There are radical voices that call for outright secession. The MGTOW. To the perennial feminine question of” where are all the good men”, they reply: “back in your 20s, where you left them.” It’s a social movement for men only that has been gaining more public profile in spite of women’s anger. According to their web page, they are willing to have relationships with women but they are dead fast opposed to any kind of serious commitment. It is full of horror stories that resemble the tales of escapees from plantations. It unabashedly supports the choice of many men of remaining single forever.
One well educated lady looked at me intensely a few days ago and told me:
-“Doctor…Are you a secret member of the MGTOW.”
-“No,” I replied. “Why would you say that?”
-“Well, you’ve been separated for years, you like women’s company but live alone…In spite of your charming personality, you stay stubbornly single.”
-“Mmm…You think so?”
What do you want me to say? Some guys might have been engaging in that lifestyle for years without even knowing there were more of them out there.
What do you think? Please tell us.
Don’t leave me alone.
6 thoughts on “The manly rebellion”
Oh boy, I can hear the shells from your hovitzers exploding overheard while I stay safely inside my foxhole. This is scary dear!
How are you doing?
Hands down, it’s hard to stay monogamous with so many wonderful men/women out there. Kids would say: it’s so last century. But, it’s nice to try, isn’t it?
Why do many men remain/ choose to remain single? Because they like their freedom. There are many benefits to marriage. Freedom, they say, is not one of them. Then, there’s fantasy quest, excitement, and (oh yes) fear of responsibility or simply making a conscious choice to be irresponsible (free).
I recently asked a blogger I think highly of why he chooses to stay single. Mind you, it’s his conscious choice. His answer was: because I don’t like to be told to get off the couch and be responsible.
Good day to you, Herr Doktor.
Ah, what a lovely greeting you’re sending me while I am drinking my first session of “mate amargo” (this one laced with a spoonful of ground Sttarbuck’s Verona coffee) How could I not love you so much?
Good morning dear. May I respectfully disagree with you a little bit. It’s not only that we value “our freedom” but more importantly we’ve had enough with the unreasonable, authoritarian demands of most modern women who feel entitled to everything and anything. We’re not dummies; we know that in order to share our lives with a modern woman we have to change our despicable ways ( at least a little bit) When you love someone, you’re willing to do it. But we won’t be enslaved by any woman or become a target for their unreasonable demands either.There you go. I said it. Are you going to hate now?
When you recently gave a list of the “isms” you despised in one of your articles I criticized you for not including “feminism” (by that I meant its more intolerant and extreme form of course) Full of raw resentment and hate against men in general, millions of women are ageing alone because we can’ t stand their company. That’s a real, palpable social tragedy. Now I am going to take cover in one of my bomb shelters because I expect an artillery barrage from you. Still love you madly (at a distance)
Un baccione. Arrivederci!
This only shows you don’t know me well enough, my dear. I love discussions as long as they’re constructive and productive. I told you once, I’ll say it again. I don’t expect us to see eye to eye on everything.
What I’d really hate is that you constantly nod your head if I’d try to persuade you to see things differently (read: my way). It happened to me with a blogger once and every time I’d disagree (which I often did, of course, not for the sake of contradicting him, but because my attitudes were quite diametrically opposed to his), he’d reply by saying: Yes, you’re right. Can you imagine my disbelief and shock each and every time?! I would always think: Don’t you have an opinion of your own, for god’s sake?! Obviously, he didn’t, nor the intellectual capacity that would please me, so I gave up on him.
I’m not doing it with you because I happen to like your brain (although you can make me mad at times).
As for your reaction, I understand it but then again, don’t agree (completely). First off, enough with generalizations. Second, what do you consider ‘unreasonable, authoritarian demands?’ Can you be more specific? Finally, speaking from my experience and about myself, I am authoritarian, and bitchy and nagging and demanding, I admit it, but you know why. I said it once in a post: You call it nagging, I call it listen to what I f… said the first time.
(no swearing with this guy, otherwise he’d erase me completely from his life).
Have a nice afternoon/evening, dottore, and talk to you soon.
I think is easy to be single. Being in a long term relationship or marriage is a process. Family needs you 100%. When you are single you decide how much time you spend with the other person. And I think this is the same for boys and girls.
Good morning and thanks for your pointed commentary. A serious relationship does take a lot of work.