-“Doctor…My husband does not want to have sex—I’m desperate.”
Claudia X. is a very good looking and charming lady in her early 40s that had decided to stay at home to take care of the couple’s three children while her extremely busy physician-husband toils for long hours in his office. She dared to make that confession to me, as we’ve been good friends for years. She asked me if I had heard about a possible lover in his life, which I denied.
Her husband is not dating another woman. Her husband did not become gay. Her husband still loves and respects her. Something ominous is at play in their couple.
Her husband is just part of a growing cohort of men that refuse to have sex. What was unthinkable just a few years ago is now a reality to contend with. Women have been complaining about the unrestrained lust of men for ages. Well, now they have to face the fact that many of them are just not into it.
The “hypoactive sexual desire” is a clinical complaint that has become more common in offices of primary care practitioners, urologists and psychiatrists. Physicians should first rule out metabolic or hormonal diseases that may affect libido by performing a good clinical examination and order testing. However many patients have normal results and they still don’t want sex. It could be episodic or continuous with varying degrees of physical limitations.
An unusual degree of stress can cause symptoms like fatigue, insomnia and lack of sexual desire in most human beings but it has temporary effects. The myth of “always wanting male” applies only to young, energetic individuals. But when the desire disappears in a middle aged individual, the possibility of sexual monotony and/or a couple crisis must be addressed by professionals.
There are good sex therapists that can discuss possible remedies like:
- Techniques to foster contact with one’s body and your companion’s
- Develop better foreplay and take more time to raise the libido
- Relaxation techniques like Yoga, Aerobics, Meditation
- Changes in dietary and lifestyle habits
- Use of new intercourse figures, erotic material, toys and lubricants
What do you think? Please tell us.
Don’t leave me alone.