– “Doctor…My ex-boyfriend is dating a gorgeous girl—and she’s much younger than him.”
Paula X. is a very nice lady “d’une certaine age” that had a longstanding relationship with a fellow co-worker for many years. They seemed to be a very stable couple but one day, out of the blue, she decided that he might not be the man of her life. She started to voice her progressively worsening concerns with almost everybody, including yours truly; eventually she decided to kick him off her life by expelling him from her apartment and erasing their common social contacts.
Her newfound single life had a strong tailwind and she was enjoying her freedom to date to the hilt. Until one day something terrible happened. She came across her ex in a happy hour event. Not only he looked good but he was accompanied by a younger girl who seemed to be a model. All of a sudden, the complete certainty she was holding in her mind about him crumbled totally. She felt an excruciating bout of epigastric pain and nausea that obliged her to leave the premises. The two loyal girlfriends that were accompanying her immediately knew what happened and took her home in a taxi.
What’s going on? First, she loved him. Suddenly she hated him. Then she wanted him back. That paradoxical behavior of ladies, which has certainly disconcerted many of us sometime along our lives, can be explained by the higher preponderance of Right Hemispheric activity in their brains. Even though the human brain functions as a marvelous unit, we have in fact two, not one, brains. The Left Hemisphere specializes in language and writing, logic reasoning, mathematical sequencing, organization of ideas and actions, i.e. it is our analytical brain that helps us function. The right Hemisphere has a more holistic function as it integrates the emotional undertones to our ideas, prodding us to become more creative and to seek transcendence, i.e. the artistic brain. In the right side of our brains, contradictory feelings like Love and hate coexist side to side.
The two sides of our brain are inter-connected by a thick set of neuronal fibers that constitute the “corpus callosum”, which allows the smooth. efficient integration to carry our daily tasks. In women, that structure is usually more developed than in men, which explains their uniqueness. Neuroscientific research has shown that in men the interconnection via the corpus callosum is from the “anterior” part of the brain (where our attention/awareness lies) to the “posterior” part of the same hemisphere that helps to translate our ideas into concrete, focused actions. In women there is a higher number of fibers that travel from the right to the left hemispheres, integrating the emotional aspects more thoroughly with the practical ones. Yes.They are much more advanced.
Next time you ask yourself why it is so easy for women to multi-task all the time and so difficult for us, men, to finish even one task at a time, get some solace knowing that there is a biological explanation. Moreover, they are quite capable to seamlessly love and hate someone at the same time, without any kind of feelings of remorse or uneasiness.
What do you want me to say? Thank God we have our dear women to help us all along. And if we have to take their rap from time to time, do as I do. Just say: “yes, dear.”
What do you think? Please tell us.
Don’t leave me alone.