Phicklephilly

Dear friends:

It’s a pleasure to present Charles Wiedenmann, a.k.a Phicklephilly, a great writer, indefatigable romantic and a ferocious blogger to you today. Charles was born and raised in Philadelphia but he has lived in many cities, pursuing his career in the financial sector and his artistic inclination. He graduated with an Arts major in Philadelphia and became a musician, singer and songwriter. Like his father before, he worked 30 years in the financial industry and an additional 10 years in advertising; after living in Manhattan, he recently moved back to “The city of Brotherly Love.” Being single, he started to narrate his informal encounters with men and women of the dating scene in his regular blog at: phicklephilly.wordpress.com His prose is vibrant as it is filled with the real problems and dilemmas of modern people. He has some advice for the ladies out there that are looking for their Prince Charming. Please take center stage Phickle buddy. It’s showtime. Avanti!

Twelve practical steps to lasso your Prince Charming

Modern women are constantly complaining that men do not know what we want from them, which makes bonding with us difficult, even dangerous. It is not that hard to know what we expect from a woman. Here are a few tips:

1 – Stay in shape

We want to be aroused by the sight of you being naked. Men are visual animals. That’s why we like to have sex with the lights ON. We like your body and want to see it. People can argue the pitfalls of BMI scale all they want, but for the average Jane, it works just fine. Men don’t want a bag of bones, nor do they want a woman that looks like she’s hoarding beach balls.

2 – Lay off the Body Modification 

Men gravitate to natural hair color, tasteful and coverable tattoos (if any at all). We don’t like piercings that are out of control and all over the place. Also, fake boobs make you look fake. Plus they’re dense unlike real breasts. Lots of men like small breasts—they make you look younger and defiant.

3 – Make our own money

When it comes to money, men really couldn’t care less if you make a whole lot, but you need to be making enough so that you are not a financial drain on him. If you make more than him, more power to you in the couple—just refrain from throwing it in his face like some form of one-upmanship.

4 – Be feminine

Men want to date real WOMEN, not bros with vaginas. It’s a huge turnoff. Please refrain from using foul language and act aggressively in our presence. We like to enjoy a graceful, pleasant company that makes us feel at ease. Whether you like it or not, men like women that like them. Easy as that.

5 – Be tolerant

Being attentive to your partner’s desires and wishes does not mean that you are a door mat without any voice in the relationship. It means that you care about him and are willing to accommodate his world into yours as much as you can. Seriously, heaven forbid you do a little back bending for the sake of pleasing YOUR man because you want to keep him interested in you. Rub his back, watch a game together, kiss him…A GOOD man will reciprocate by rubbing your toes, watch a chick movie and snuggle with you in the sofa.

6 – Sex life.

Men want a woman that has a healthy sex drive and few past sexual partners. That means that you and your past boyfriend had a lot of sex. It does not mean that you were the town trollop. We get it, you want to be able to sleep with the college football team and not be judged for it the same way he ran through the cheerleading squad. Life’s not fair—get used to it. The average Joe will never see that many women anyway. Men also do not want a woman that leverages sex as a way to get what she wants. That is a pretty good indicator that she’s really not all that interested in you in the first place.

7 – Show your wits

Women wrongly assume that men usually dread the varied manifestations of intelligence in the feminine genre—that is such a 19th century thought, dear. No man wants a woman that cannot flex her mental muscles. Smart is way sexier than dumb any day. And we love to admire our girlfriend’s chutzpah.

8 – Tread carefully if you have children

This is the kind of the not-so-secret, secret. Men usually neither want to have instant families nor to raise another man’s child. This goes double if have multiple children and/or if your children are biracial.  It does not matter if your child’s father was abusive, a deadbeat, a good man or tragically hit by a bus. The bottom line is that you have a child, and he/she does not belong to the eligible bachelors out there. You might have to compensate by showing more strength in other areas, especially the affective streak. It may sound so primitive but if you’re a good homemaker—which does not mean you’re a stay-at-home wife—he’ll be more inclined to build a family with that legacy.

9 – Be willing to rattle the pots and pans

I wish I knew where things had taken a turn for the worst in terms of women’s progress, but apparently the domestic ability of being able to feed yourself without ordering takeout or putting some TV dinner in the microwave has fallen by the wayside. Men should learn how to cook and help with the nurturing of the children at the crucial time of the family table; but women should not relinquish their role as the hearth’s custodian. I’m a fabulous cook so I’ll cook for you too, darling—and you’ll love me more.

10 – Put down the phone

We get it. Your bathroom selfie just got you 40 likes on Facebook/Instagram and boosted your ego for the next 15 minutes. Then you just bought the newest chamomile tea from the coffee shop that is SOOO delicious, and  you need to tweet about it and send a Snapchat to your bestie while you are driving home from work (that light ahead is red, btw). Perhaps you should unplug from the matrix long enough to realize that there is a living breathing person in close proximity trying to interact with you. This is why my friends and I stack our phones on the table in front of us—amazing things follow.

11 – Ease up on the makeup

The less the better. It is bad enough that the makeup industry is a multi-billion dollar industry that essentially tells women that they are ugly. What is even worse is that half of you come out of the house looking like a clown. Maybe you should throw away your creams and work with what you have.

12 – Stop hoarding guy friends

Nine out of ten of your guy friends just want to sleep with you anyway. Men know how other men think. The first guy that comes to comfort you after a big fight will also be the first one to say “he’s not good enough for you” in order to sabotage the ongoing relationship. It’s not about trust issues. It’s about knowing how people act. Trust is earned, not immediately granted.

And don’t forget to display a big smile to show the real YOU to the whole wide world!

Ibrahima Bah

Dear friends:

It is a great pleasure to introduce my good friend Ibrahima to you. He represents the great intellectual potential of the resurgent, young Africa that has been sadly blunted by the corrupt practices of local politicians and the inertia of foreign institutions that do make a real effort to reach out to them.

Born in Guinea Conakry, he now resides with his family in Dakar, Sénégal, He keeps an eye on his village’s affairs as he has formed an association with his friends to promote the development of local resources so the young can stay there. A passionate of Literature, he obtained his Baccalauréat in 2011 and joined the academic staff of Cheikh Anta Diop University for 2 years. For personal reasons he had to quit the academic pathway and now works in a Chinese shop in Dakar but, like all the African youth, he is still dreaming.

Maître Bah, prennez la parole s’il vous plaît!

Youth unemployment in Sénégal

 In all the countries of Africa, the youth unemployment is one of the biggest social problems as it affects the socio-economic status of the whole society.If the political and civic authorities cannot design and implement long term policies to educate and employ the younger generations, there is no hope.

The international and national conjunctures, sometimes accompanied by political demagogy, are at the heart of youth unemployment in Sénégal. Too many Senegalese youngsters have little and no prospect of advancement. Politicians use them at the polls but, once in power, forget them altogether.

Young men and women are systematically excluded of the equitable access to the economic opportunities that would guarantee a good social insertion. As a result there is a growing chaste of young people that do not work or study because they feel, with reason, that the system is rigged against them.

Our educational system is not fully equipped to prepare the professional and technical cadres for a global economic system based on the information age. Even though we have proficient and committed teachers, there is no official long-term support for the amelioration of the infrastructure of our schools. The educational reform must start already at the level of the primary school.

We value the great cultural assets of our French-inspired educational system but we must acknowledge that we must integrate the Anglo-Saxon concepts of technical and business proficiencies demanded by modern capitalism. If the French authorities are trying to reform their educational system to meet the modern demands, we must not dither in our efforts at long-term reform.

Creating rational and accessible opportunities for real labor insertion in our societies will represent a long postponed act of justice for our own citizens. Moreover, taking young people off the streets, will prevent them to cede at the nefarious calls to violence, either in the form of theft or acts of terrorism. The resilient issue of youth unemployment in Africa concerns the West also.

What do you think? Please tell us.

Don’t leave me alone.

 

Dr. Walter Ghedin -2

Dear friends:

It is a real pleasure to introduce Dr. Walter Guedin, a great professional and better friend, as our guest blogger for the second time. Dottore Ghedin, avanti!

Alexitimia: the disappearance of emotions?

Alexitimia, the clinical inability to identify emotions, includes the following:

  1. Incapacity to identify the emotions and to differentiate them from the physical sensations.
  2. Incapacity to express, communicate and describe the feelings.
  3. Incapacity to imagine, fantasize and to build abstract concepts.
  4. Concrete, operational and practical thinking.

Since ancient times, the emotional realm has been a major preoccupation for the philosophers, physicians, psychologists, poets and for concerned citizens as the slightest human act is always tainted with some emotional overtones. In order to clarify our discussion, we must define these basic concepts:

  1. Emotions: sudden, intense and sweeping. Ex: fear, hate, passion.
  2. Feelings: states more subdued than emotions. Ex: love, sadness.
  3. Affection: subjective feeling that accompanies an idea or a memory.
  4. Mood; the baseline, individualized emotional status of a person,

It was first identified by Peter Sifneos in 1972 as a result of investigating patients with psychosomatic diseases that could not express emotions with words. It is more common in men than in women as the feminine gender has more inter-connecting neuronal fibers between the right and left hemispheres. The right hemisphere of the brain “receives the sensorial input” of the affective states and the left hemisphere “recognizes them and gives them words.”

First of all we must consider the limiting factors of social norms that limit the expression of emotions for men as they go against the big demands of a modern lifestyle that values efficiency and celerity even in the menial acts. Stoked by the need for urgent satisfaction and the fear of not being included, we race through our objectives without paying heed to the emotional side.

Notwithstanding our individual differences in vulnerability, social pressures are influencing our acts and personalities, gravely curtailing our capacity to imagine and engage in abstract thinking. The operational thinking is gaining ground, displacing the representation, the imagery, the fantasies, the freedom to let our imagination loose to fly away to uncharted emotional territories. Objectivity in our thinking translates into assertiveness in our daily lives.

We can’t possibly imagine a world without emotions where indifferent and insensitive robots pursue spurious, changing objectives and a false credence.

Emotions are inexorably linked to the human condition but there is a lot of room for improvement. We must regain the intensity of our experiences. We must renew the emotional compromise with ourselves. We must adventure into pleasure and hedonism. And when the time comes, experience sadness.

What do you think? Please tell us.

Don’t leave me alone.

 

 

Catherine Da Silva

Dear friends:

It is a great pleasure to introduce our friend and guest blogger, Ms. Catherine Da Silva, a consultant and writer  from Trinidad and Tobago. She has produced reports for the United Nations Development Program (Eastern Caribbean) in Volunteerism-The Sustainability Report and Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR) Report ,tourism material and written several business articles for Contact .

She has served as Managing Editor for : “Oaths of Allegiance-A Biographical Profile of the Heads of State of the Common Wealth Caribbean” ,”Drapeau De La Liberte -History of the Leadership of Haiti  in retrospect 1789 to present”  (by Albert Sydney) ;”Post ,Past and Present -History of the Postal Corporation in Trinidad and Tobago”, “Forgetting Forever”(Pat Da Costa) and “How to Eradicate Poverty” (Michael Samuel).

She holds a BA (Hons) in French and English Literature University of the West Indies,  a Post Graduate Diploma in International Relations (Dip,IR), Certificate in Advanced French CIRECCA -University of Martinique and ACS certification in Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR) . She serves as a member in the Board of Directors of the Princess Elizabeth Home  and the Caribbean Health Foundation. Cara Cathy, avanti!

“Forging the Free- Up Mentality”

 My homeland has had to date 339 murders. Life appears to be senseless at times. A young girl about to embark on a promising future, wraps a  cord around her neck and then to the rafters, a broken -hearted lover ploughs a car into the side of a cliff and plummets to the sea ; an angry driver stabs another in the middle of a traffic intersection.In the US there are in excess of 40,000 suicides annually , the world is at war and at war with itself.

To say we’re angry  and insecure would be an understatement.Who created this mess ?  We did.  Life’s challenges can bring no end of stress and strife .To combat such rigors one must  plan to make the best of one’s life in every moment . Admittedly, I tell my kids  “you grow where you are planted’..  meaning .. be content .. if we give ourselves the deserved break to break away from the norms and stereotypes , we bloom , life unravels in a most ostentatious way. Call it Faith, deem it Hope . Keeping the marbles in tact for the game of life is imperative to getting the best out of it and giving your best back .

How can we preserve the mental fortitude for combat?  First by taking care of our physical beings ..we are what we eat. Fresh wholesome foods and beverages with a few luxuries to punctuate our menu can keep our mental space healthier . Water our everything.. 90 % of our brain matter is water so fill’er up ! Sunlight – outdoor recreation replenishes our zest for life. Preserve a good disposition. This comes with the composition of time.Time is about the only free gift we have and the best things in life are Free. Craft your day . Take charge of your time and space .  As we say in the islands “Free up.” Cook , eat ,drink ,sing, dance, plant,sew, draw .paint, talk, walk,run,laugh, smile, give, share, stay silent… These are our natural preservatives. See the lighter side of things No fuss . No fret. Just free.

Prevention is better than cure . Mind your choices to keep Peace of mind. Meditation,prayer and hallowed time spent alone are all contributors to a quality journey. Nothing is had in desperation . Self -healing  comes through  deep down  self  exploration -a good look in the mirror! .Most of our childhood legacies show up in later life as joy or pain. Sift them and simmer for balance.. So many humans across the globe are unable through in humane conditions to even breathe pure air as they are bombarded by hate and war . Send light often to those in the stratosphere . Be Light.

Dottoressa Dilia

Dear friends:

It is a great pleasure to introduce Ms. Dilia Calderín, better known as Dottoressa Dilia in the social media, who will be our guest blogger today. She attended Medical School in “Victoria de Girón” and “Hospital Salvador Allende” of La Habana, Cuba, from 1982 to 1989, receiving her MGI certificate in 1994. She obtained a diploma of Thrombolysis in the “Santiago Davies Vegas” in La Habana in 2006. She worked as an emergency physician in the “Policlínico Boyeros” of La Habana in 2005-2011. She obtained a Dermatology certificate in the “Hospital Guillermo Fernández Baquero” in 1999. She completed a post-graduate thesis on “Alcoholism and Drug addiction” in 1998. She obtained a diploma of “Pediatric nutrition and Hygiene” in the “Hospital Pediátrico del Centro de La Habana” in 1997. At present she works as a phlebotomy technician in Miami, Florida; at the present time she holds the MA, EMR, PCT,EKG and CPR certifications.

Her astounding intelligence, unusual charme and great looks made her an instant success in the singles’ dating circuit and today she wants to share a few thoughts with us. She promises to be unusually frank in her blog, for which I will leave momentarily to take cover in a bomb shelter. As she is studying the Italian language, she chose a fitting “nom de guerre” and introduction. Let’s welcome our guest and dear friend. Dottoressa, avanti!

“Gli donne devonno rimboccare le maniche”

Enough already. I’ve had it with all these women whining and complaining. Nowadays you can’t open a magazine or a web page without stumbling into another woman criticizing the bad behavior of all the men in her lifetime. Ladies, it’s time to separate the grain from the chaff and talk openly about a common cause of emotional frustration. Stay with me.

The unrelenting pressure of the modern workplace, the unrealistic demands of the communities on individuals, the stressful residua from attained and still to be reached life goals, the inadequate diet and consumption of alcohol, the physical ravages of chronic diseases like diabetes, the shameful spread of pornography and consumerism as a substitute for real human relations, the lack of family or friendly support to discuss big issues and, above all else the hypocrisy of a supposedly “liberated” society that still plays by troglodytic rulings has contributed to the spread of a pandemic: the erectile dysfunction.

Yes ladies, be truthful. Stop pretending that you’ve found “your” Mr. Darcy. The majority of mature women have to daily deal with that stark reality. When I signed up to dating websites, I hardly knew that there was a catch. During the past four years I’ve met dazzling gentlemen that took me out for dinners in fancy restaurants, music concerts, dance halls, boating trips, you name it—

Everything was fine until the moment of truth came in our loving encounter. In spite of my erotic overtures and shows of affection, many candidates could not muster the necessary “mojo” to complement my ardent sexuality…Frustratingly enough we ended up with a manual consolation for him…And a mechanical one for me. It really sucks!

Dr. Walter Ghedin explained to us in a previous blog that the sexual act is unlike any other human behavior as it requires a low level of anxiety in order to get a good climax. Women are rightly proud of their social and economic achievements, which heralded a more prominent and decisive role in individual and family affairs. If women are active outside the bedroom, why remain so passive inside it? Why that difference in attitudes?

Finally I decided to roll up my sleeves to prep my latest candidate for action. I arrived at this apartment before he did to change the whole environment. I changed his dark, old bedsheets for light, clean ones that smelled of jasmine. I passed the vacuum cleaner in the living room to rid it of dust and allergens. I prepared 2 or 3 simple tapas to nibble with some Chardonnay. I put some relaxing music from Nana Mouskouri as I waited for him.

When he opened the door, he took a deep breath and kissed me on my cheek.

-“Wow…this place looks and smells different…It needed a woman’s touch.”

-“Go refresh yourself and sit down in the couch…It’s only the beginning—”

We had a leisurely chat, casually nibbling at the tapas and sipping the wine.

That night he had a good erection and orgasm that made him cry like a baby.

What do you think? Please tell us.

Don’t leave me alone.

Dr. Walter Ghedin

Dear friends:

It is a great pleasure to introduce Dr. Walter Ghedin, our guest blogger, to you. Today he will be discussing  “Streaming and Sex” with us.

Dr. Ghedin graduated as a physician form the Universidad Nacional de La Plata in 1984 and did his residence training in Psychiatry in the “Hospital Provincial José Estevez.” In a parallel way he trained in Psychodrama and Psychotherapy in the “Asociación Argentina de Psicodrama y Psicoterapia de grupo.” In 1995 he travelled to Barcelona, Spain, to participate in “Pisos asistidos”—an official program where psychiatric patients continue their scheduled treatments in spaces rented by the state. He studied Sexology with Dr. Adrian Sapetti and Psychopharmacology with Dr. Julio Moizeszowics. In 2004 he published his first novel titled “Mera Ilusión” (Ediciones Deldragon) and in 2014 he published “Tipos en la cama” (Ediciones Lea). He wrote his first play “Los juegos de cada cual, Freud y Jung” in collaboration with Daniel Oliva. He adapted two Chejov stories—“Los Nauticos” and “Varka”—to the theatre. In 2003 the French magazine “Outre terre” published “La seule, l’unique”, a short story. His latest book, titled “Sexo y Sexualidad”, explains why psychoanalysis and other psychotherapy techniques have dramatically changed many our concepts about sex. On August 28th his new play, “La vagina enlutada” (the vagina in mourning), will debut in a Buenos Aires theatre.At present he is teaching “Normal and abnormal personalities” in the Holos San Isidro. Let’s cede this podium to our guest. Dottore, avanti!

“Paying too much attention to the little screens can mess up your sex life.”

    In our modern times the majority of us are too attentive to the endless stream of information provided by the little screens we carry in our pockets. The trolling toll of Technology is manifested by the constant dissociation of our attention and the increasing levels of anxiety to keep up with it. If we add TV streaming to the mix, our erotic encounters are almost invariably damaged.

Unlike our other activities, the sexual intimacy requires a series of factors:

  1. a strong sexual desire
  2. low levels of anxiety
  3. attention focused on the act itself
  4. erotic fantasies of various kinds
  5. a receptive body for sexual stimuli
  6. capacity to feel pleasure and enjoy it

Making plans for “food delivery and a streamed movie” is a good option for many couples that want to relax in their homes after a hectic work schedule. Being together in a cosy place can boost an emotional and physical bonding. The problem arises when the preparations are truncated and nothing follows.

TV streaming is a great leap forward in our entertainment choices as many of these productions rival, and even surpass, the traditional films and series. However it can become addictive as our desire to know “what happens next” is teased by the savvy and malicious layout of a series of 6,8 or 10 episodes.

Allowing the interloping presence of a computer, a tablet or a phone in the middle of our beds will definitely put a distance with our “significant other.”

The sexual desire does not appear by a magical tour de force but is the result of a conjunction of factors like insinuations, fantasies, contact and attention.

Right…Please excuse me now—got to watch the third season of “House of cards.”

What do you think? Please tell us.

Don’t leave me alone.

Prof. Carlos Morosoli

Dear friends:

It is a real pleasure to introduce Professor Carlos Morosoli Zubiria, our guest blogger, to you. Today he will be discussing “the Mentoring Role of the Teacher” with us.

Graduated in 1978 as a professor of Organic Chemistry and Physics from the prestigious “Instituto de Profesores José Gervasio Artigas” of Montevideo, Uruguay, he has had a long career as a teacher in public and private entities.

He was one of the speakers in the “Second Congress of Catholic Education renewal” in the Universidad Catolica del Uruguay in 1993; he participated in the “Interdisciplinary forum on Education” of the Artigas institute in 2005. He attended training courses sponsored by the Fulbright Commission in 1979, 1980 and 1981; he made a presentation for the OEA in 1982. He co-authored the book”Ejercicios de Química General”, Editorial Ideas-1980 and the “Prácticas de Química General para Bachillerato”, Editorial Ideas-1985.

Now let’s cede this podium to our distinguished guest and longtime friend. Professore Morosoli, avanti!

“In order to teach, you have to know. In order to educate, you have to be.”

That sentence has defined my ideal in my 40 years career as a teacher.

Even though we might criticize the different teaching plans, which according to the country in question and the supra-national educational directives can emphasize either the humane or scientific views on issues, we believe that the person who educates is the true artisan in this uniquely magnificent task.

Our teachings can be considered as a trove of knowledge that, enabled by the technological prowess, is at the fingertips of all our students. Depending on their individual capabilities, they have different timings to digest and absorb it but finally they will incorporate it as a tool to guide their actions.

However this endowment would have little meaning without the mentoring of the teacher or the professor who can crack the shell of each individual and explore the marvellous inner life of a growing child or a teenager. In many educational establishments the laptop has replaced the old paper and pencil. We must still guide the individual learning process with respectful patience.

I remember with certain nostalgia that in the beginning of my career my students used to pull the notebook and pencils from their bags first of all. Nowadays they set their laptops or tablets on the desk as a routine helper. The access to Internet has broadened our knowledge in magnificent ways but it has also had the collateral effect of colonization of our minds by others.

The students must still read articles, books, reviews and editorials in order to appreciate the layout of different arguments in critical issues that pertain us. By only watching the little screens, we just hop from one keyword to the other, reinforcing our previously held beliefs and blocking others to appear.

We, the teachers, are just human beings—with joys and sorrows, triumphs and defeats, loves and hates—that are highly motivated to educate the young. The knowledge cannot be magically imparted from above but rather shared daily in a community of learning.

What do you think? Please tell us.

Don’t leave me alone.